words Nawira Baig

If there’s anything I know about confidence, it’s that it comes with practice, oftentimes, coupled with bloopers and blunders. Then you realise, it’s really not that bad after all and you’re not the only one who feels ‘not good enough’ or that you’re not ready and up to it. Even the best, most experienced people who seem to have it all together, still deal with the nerves.

Know yourself and what you stand for

As with any presentation, each time you’re stepping out there, preparation is paramount. You do the work you need to help you perform your best, but more importantly, you do the inner work – getting to know yourself, including the good, the bad, the ugly, and leveraging your strengths while working on your weaknesses. When you know yourself well, what others say about you won’t offend you. There is beauty in living your truth. Discover your voice and use it for things that matter to you. Speak truth to power. When you connect with who you truly are, you allow others to connect with your story too. You never know who you’ll inspire just by being you. I never want to be anyone else. I love myself, all of myself. It took me years to get here. I certainly didn’t achieve whatever I achieved by trying to be like somebody else. I just tried to be the best me there could ever be. More of us need to be more of ourselves.

Never underestimate what you’re capable of

I never thought or dreamed that I would be able to achieve the things I have or do what I do.  I never imagined someone like me could do all that until I did. While there will be times you feel limited by what you can do, you don’t have to let it limit you. Explore how else it can be done when it seems like all you see are barriers around you. Sometimes, it takes getting past the barriers in our own heads first. Don’t get in your own way or hold yourself back. It’s also okay to take the scenic route, the road less travelled, You never know where that will lead or what you’ll discover. You can step out of the ‘race’ and still win just by being you. It always starts with you. Someone once asked me, “But what can one person do?” My reply was simple, “Imagine if everyone thought that way, then nothing would change.”

Look up to level up

Surround yourself with role models. It helps when these role models are individuals you can relate to. I believe in representation. It’s especially important for young girls to know that there are women doing pretty amazing things out there in many different places and many different ways so that they too can aspire and grow up to fulfil their highest potential. Knowing my voice also comes from hearing many different voices and stories for diverse perspectives so that I may learn to respect our unique human fabric and recognise how my single voice can play its role in its weaving. Remembering that it doesn’t start or end with me reminds me to pass it on to others as we build each other up so that our work and legacy lasts far beyond us. We go through stages and seasons in our life. It’s okay to let go of old ways that are no longer serving us, especially the narratives we tell ourselves, so that we may make way for new experiences. Most crucially, know your worth and what you bring to the table.

Have fear and do it anyway

There is hardly anything amazing I do that doesn’t come with fear. Most of the time, this fear and anxiety are unwarranted because reality usually turns out just fine. You can still get things done with fear. Fear doesn’t need to hinder you. I tell my fear this, “I can have you, but you can’t have me.” Then watch how fear transforms into a companion who journeys with you. Gradually, fear becomes a mere visitor that drops by every now and then, instead of overstaying. I am always nervous before speaking in front of an audience. Nerves are good. It tells you that you want to give your best. I take this nervous energy and channel it into my output, usually transforming it into excitement and confidence. As physics tells us, energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transferred or transformed. So watch where you direct that ‘negative’ energy and channel it into something positive. Work with it!

Allow yourself to step into your power

It isn’t easy and it definitely doesn’t come easy. Through discomfort, there comes growth. I’ve come to realise that I’m more afraid of what I’m capable of than failure or rejection. I know what lies within me. We all possess power, big or small, to do things. It’s what we do with this power that matters. Women need to allow themselves to step into their power and then step up to positions of power. I used to think power and ambition were dirty words, especially for a girl. Today, as a woman, I know that power when used for a good cause can help change the future. When we are connected to the potential, strength and courage within us, we can empower others to become all that they are meant to be as well.

About the Author:

Nawira advocates mental wellness for individuals, organisations and nations, including through her work in mental health care. Leveraging a communications background and her current pursuit in psychology, she brings forth ‘voices unheard’ to shape narratives and influence public discourse on issues related to mental health. She serves on the External Affairs Committee and Board of the US-based National Association of Peer Supporters, and the Youth Advisory Board of the International Association for Premenstrual Disorders. Nawira’s newfound interests include women’s mental wellness and developing trauma, gender and culturally-informed care and support in Singapore and beyond.