words & illustration Nur Adam

We are living in unprecedented times wherein this very moment in history, time seemed to have stood still for some, and for others, a crazy mad rush that seems like a nightmare they wish they could wake up from. The lives of many have been impacted by this microscopic pathogen that has spread at an alarming rate without boundaries and without a care in the world of our social status, what we own, what we do and who we are. 

We see the global economy massively slowing down, infection and death rates on the rise, businesses put on hold, and with some, closed permanently, travel plans cancelled, weddings postponed, unemployment and poverty rates escalating through the roof, anxiety and other mental-health related matters on the rise, and the reported number of domestic abuse cases flourishing in the conditions created by the pandemic. For countless individuals and families, normal life has already been upended in previously unimaginable ways. A cloud of deep uncertainty looms over the lives of many.

In a life where we are so used to living and thinking, we have it all perfectly under control with our existing way of programming, unexpectedly something as big as this hits us, and so it forces us to re-evaluate the things we have been focusing and prioritising in our own lives. As the adaptive creatures we inherently are, something within nudges us towards change – a behavioural change that will allow us to adapt and thrive in the new environment. That nudge is here to stay, for as long as we leave it be and not act upon it. 

Living through a crisis can be genuinely formative if we allow ourselves to see it that way. This global trauma and hardship we are experiencing are only what we make of them. While none of these is within the norm or within what we are even prepared to take on, it is still part of life – the seasons of life we go through. The struggle can be immensely distressing, but it can also be an opportunity for enormous growth and power that come from it.

How I see it – there is an opportunity, even from this.

The Trigger for Change Within

It was not too long ago I remembered what life was like, welcoming in the new year, working on my new projects, freely socialising and meeting new people, happily roaming around the streets, parks and malls, and eagerly planning my travels around the world - which was part of my self-exploration goal to discover more about myself.

Fast forward to just four months later - so much has changed. We are forced to go through unparalleled disruptions and adjustments in such a short span of time. For months now, the coronavirus pandemic dominated the news cycle and social media at such great intensity. This crisis has shoved work and home lives under the same roof for many families, and induced wide-reaching uncertainty. 

Looking into my own personal experience, it almost feels like my world and dreams have taken a backseat, and this pandemic is now living my life for me. In those moments, I feel like I do not know what to think or how to make heads or tails of these completely unfamiliar circumstances.

A million and one thoughts would often race through my mind - Who will be affected? Will my loved ones be spared? How quickly is this spreading? Will vaccines be available? How soon? Will we survive? How long will this last? What about my work? My income?

It was initially truly overwhelming to come to terms with the situation I was experiencing. The constant thought of the lives of many who have been massively affected by this pandemic was just devastating. It almost feels surreal. 

I soon realised that I was dragging myself deeper and deeper down the slippery slope of despair, because I was not being my usual creative self – I found it hard focusing on tasks that I had intended to achieve. It was frustrating. That became my sign. That was my turning point right there. I had no choice but to pull myself up and courageously learn to adapt and experiment with various options to see what worked for me because I could no longer give in to whatever life wanted to recklessly throw at me. I realised that it was me resisting to what is, that caused that discomfort, and one that truly prevented me to soar and reach my fullest potential.

Change and Growth

Life is change. If you are not moving and evolving, you are not living.

Change is inevitable because life is constantly evolving. Some people thrive on change. They look at it as a new challenge or adventure. For others, which seems to be a majority of the population, they fear change. They fear that it will disrupt their routine and the normalcy of life.  

The thought of change being intimidating is normal. You are not alone if you feel this way. If you have been so used to doing things a certain way and being in your comfort zone, it will naturally elicit some level of resistance when it is time for a change. The issue is not the resistance we face within. Resistance in and of itself is not bad. In fact, it is essential and integral to the change process. What is important is that we understand our unique type of resistance and embrace it. That resistance is an invitation for us to have a dialogue with ourselves on what fears are truly holding us back. To make important changes in our lives, we need to discover ourselves on a deeper and authentic level and learn strategies for working with and through them.

So much of life is beyond our control, and this pandemic is part of it. We do not decide when things like this happen. But we can decide how we choose to respond to the given circumstance – our thoughts, our reactions, our deeds, our attitudes. We have been created and adapted to survive, and that is what we, now more than ever, will rely on to come up with incredibly resourceful and imaginative ways to establish social connections even though we are physically apart, to still have room to feel and show genuine empathy for another even though we may we be going through our own set of struggles, to choose compassion over hatred, and to feel calmness over the panic and chaos that is happening around us.  

The only thing within our control is our response to the situations we are in. This experience has further affirmed my belief that it is not the experience that causes suffering, but it is our perspective that we choose to look into the experience that evokes those emotions of sadness, anger and frustration. Our superpower is in our ability to choose our response, and that has been exactly what I have been working extra hard on – my perspective.

Working on that powerful shift in perspective is not as simple as just thinking positive thoughts. It goes much, much deeper than that - 

Your beliefs create your thoughts. 

Your thoughts create your feelings. 

Your feelings create your behaviours. 

Your behaviours create your results.

A distorted perception of reality derived from our set of self-limiting belief systems creates a reality that conforms to that distorted perception. In contrast, a healthy perception of reality derived from healthy psychology creates a reality that conforms to that healthy perception. Simply put, the mental stories we keep repeating to ourselves become the very reality we live in.

The thing is, when we face adversity, we struggle not because we are lacking positivity, but because we lack the ability to cope with negativity. Positive thinking has its place, and there is no undervaluing how important it is at times. But it is not going to be what changes our lives drastically. 

If you were to take a walk down memory lane over the course of your own life, you will recognise that every period of intense pain and discomfort almost always preceded unprecedented growth. That adversity became your catalyst for change. You grew because there was no other choice. You grew because the fear of staying the same became greater than the fear of change. You grew not just by thinking positively, but because you had to dig deep within, and re-evaluate all those values and beliefs that do not serve you anymore and re-learn how to do the things you thought you could not do. 

Rather than seeing this adversity as a judgment of your status and worth in life, you can see it as an indication of positive change that needs to occur, and an opportunity to address all those fears you have always kept tightly locked up for the longest time. 

Pain is inevitable. But suffering is optional. 

Instead of trying to avoid intense feelings and desperately trying to fix ourselves, we can listen to those feelings, fears and grievances. Consider them purveyors of change.

The fears within are often amplified in times of crisis, which is an amazing opportunity to really tune in to those frequencies being played.

The pain we feel is nothing but a messenger of what needs to be given extra attention to, and it serves as a purpose to awaken us to our greatest truest self. 

Regrettably, many view their relationship with pain and fear, with such disgust and shame, when it is actually life leaving the door ajar so as to light up the way for amazing transformations ahead. 

Once you gift yourself the permission to see how much you are in fact, in the driver’s seat of the car, driving down your own path, you cannot unsee or ‘unfeel’ it.

This change can make you grow - it can transform you. But you will have to earn a real and lasting change. It does not come to you by staying the same.

Once you learn how to change and grow in life, once you follow the path you were meant to walk on, there is no turning back. It is an awakening beyond what words can describe.

Final words of love

Be compassionate with yourself.

Acknowledge and feel what you are feeling.

We are all going through a collective trauma experience with tough emotional hurdles, with an uncertainty that most of us have never really experienced in our lifetime.

There are going to be days when you are going to be less focused and more overwhelmed. And that is okay.

Do not underestimate the power of doing nothing if the mood strikes you.

Everyone’s situation is different.Focus on your journey.

Remember that you are doing the best you can to navigate through this challenging period. 

Your best is enough.

Because YOU are enough.

Take this time to discover who you are meant to be.

Take this time to learn new skills or hobbies you’ve always wanted to pick up.

This is your launching pad to soar in ways you never imagined would be possible.

When the economy eventually resumes and when life is able to regain its intense robustness and productivity, you will be ready for it.