MY STORY IS …

“If I had left my faith and confidence in anyone else’s hands, I wouldn’t be here today. 
Never underestimate what you’re capable of. Change always starts with you.”

At 26, I never thought I’d be working for a renowned international media company after only the first interview when there was supposed to be another round. I left the media to work in mental health care, my true calling. At 27, I never thought anything about me would enable me to represent my country to talk about mental health advocacy and action in Singapore/Asia. And now at 28, I never thought I would be serving on Boards for causes I am deeply passionate about. I haven’t done my degree, until now. I’m not from a rich or affluent family. In fact, we didn’t always have a home of our own and couldn’t afford many things others had. I didn’t start out with contacts or connections. Coming from a mixed background, I’m a minority. And I’m female. If that matters too.

I doubt myself a lot. But through my journey, thus far, I’ve also come to realise that we should never underestimate what we’re capable of.

I’ve survived living and thriving with a mental health condition in my early youth (even when people thought I wouldn’t make it past age 30, that I wouldn’t be alive, and if I was, that I would have regrets). I’ve survived sexual assault and trauma. I’ve survived losing a key pillar of strength and support— my father — to late-stage cancer. I’ve survived relationships with men whose hands were never strong enough to hold a strong woman. And I’ve also had a series of other setbacks, failures and challenges in life, like everyone else.

I know what it’s like to sometimes feel like you’re not good enough and then other times feel like you’re too much. But growing up around fierce females and loving and supportive father, teachers and mentors, I was also able to see my worth through the eyes of people who loved me and believed in me. So that today, I see my worth through my own eyes and believe in myself more than anyone else. Because I know me.

And here I am today, living a life I love and am proud of, knowing that whatever comes my way, I would be able to get through it because I have it within me and around me to conquer. I now walk in faith, love, strength and kindness, with the hope that by paving the way, another young girl or woman can do the same.

Know what you bring to the table. Know your worth. But also know that sometimes, the only thing standing in your way is you. You can be afraid and do it anyway. You can get things done even while holding fear. I’ve been paralysed by fear multiple times in my life. I now strive to let myself be led by faith, not fear. I know that I can be successful whatever I set my heart and mind to. I know that a woman can be whatever she wants. I was never one to be defined by labels, so what more boxes. Tell me I can’t or underestimate me, and I’ll show you how it’s done. Like Audrey Hepburn said, “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says I'm possible!”

Taking the road less travelled is nothing new to me. These dirt roads are sometimes long, winding and rough. But if there is anything that wildflowers have taught me, it’s that you can be kind and gentle, and also strong and courageous. And maybe scenic routes also lead to beautiful destinations. But more than having to get somewhere, I’ve fallen in love with the journey itself– getting to know myself, rediscovering myself, and becoming all that I’m meant to be.

My fear is no longer about failing, making mistakes or facing challenges. My fear is that I’ll be successful at whatever I envision for myself, wildly successful. I know what I’m capable of and that scares me. Maybe because we’re not used to seeing someone like me doing such things. But it’s time to step into your power, not suppress it.

There is beauty and power in living your truth and sharing your story. What makes me unique is my strength.

I am good without makeup, but I like my nails done too. I love walking barefooted in the sand by the sea, but I love a gorgeous pair of heels too. I can break a leg if I need to (usually my own), but I can nurture and help heal too. I give to others, but I give to myself too. I can’t do everything, but I can do many things. And some days, do nothing at all. I might smile a lot, but my tears are also on-call because I’m not afraid of expressing my emotions. Sometimes I might be only one voice, but I’m also not afraid of speaking truth to power, especially when it’s needed.

My femininity, my grace, my sensitivity, my emotions, my beauty, are my strength.

My resilience, my grit, my courage, my mind, my abilities are also my strength.

I didn’t become who I am today because I tried to be like someone else or what I’m ‘supposed’ to be. I just made sure I was the best ‘me’ and lived in alignment with my purpose. 

More of us need to be more of ourselves. 

I thank the girl I was. Because I love the woman I am today. And she’s going to be even better than before because she’s on her journey to becoming all she’s meant to be.

photography Zahwah Bagharib