MY STORY IS …

I have always dreamt about the ‘perfect’ life until reality decided to throw me a surprise on my 30th week of pregnancy. My consultant decided that I had to give birth prematurely due to fetal growth restriction and I just wanted the best for my baby. I was warded the same day and scheduled a caesarean section the next morning. It felt like I was living a nightmare and I wasn’t mentally prepared for it at all. My precious little one had to stay in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) for at least a month.

Another surprise came in three weeks after the birth of my son, Izzul Haq, when he was diagnosed with Trisomy 21 (also known as Down Syndrome). I literally felt like my whole world came crashing down on me and so many questions ran through my head.

WHY ME?

What have I done so wrong that I had to go through premature labour and then learn that I have a special child? How will my family react? Will they accept him and still love him unconditionally? What will happen to Izzul in the future?

I was at the absolute lowest point in my life but I knew I was stronger than this. The people around me have always known me for being a strong and resilient person. I grew up without a father’s love and witnessed how my mother singlehandedly raised the four of us, my siblings and I, with so much love and sacrifices.

Izzul is turning three soon and life has been such a sweet blessing with him around. Izzul brings joy and smiles to the people around him. I am blessed with supportive family and friends who would go the extra mile for me.

I strongly believe in ‘happiness can exist only in acceptance’. When I was at my lowest point, I picked myself up and started to learn more about Down Syndrome. I joined support groups, I made friends with many other parents who have child(ren) with DS. I enrolled Izzul in an early intervention class at six months old and went for therapy sessions with him every week. I guess it’s normal and human for us to beat ourselves up for a while for the things that don’t turn out the way we expect them to, but it’s also important to learn to accept the things we cannot change and move on. Be happy. Be kind to ourselves.

November 13 is World Kindness Day. We are dedicating the month of November to kindness. We asked Nurjihan about what kindness meant to her and this is what she shared —

People always say we need to love ourselves first before we love others. Since young, we’re always taught to be kind to others, but we forget the importance of being kind to ourselves. I’ve learned to be kind to myself first - practice self-care, celebrate small wins, appreciate the little things in life.

Kindness to others is showing empathy - putting yourself in someone else’s shoes without being judgmental. It makes us a happier person knowing we’ve made someone feel better with our kindness.

A little kindness goes a long way. People will always remember you for that.

photography Zahwah Bagharib