words SARAH BAGHARIB
photography AMIERA RAUSHAN & HANNAH KAMSADI

Here at Crazycat, one of our missions is to redefine the meaning of the word crazy. Your crazy is what makes you unique. Your crazy is that fire in you. Your crazy is what drives you to always show up and give your best. Your crazy is what will make you shine. So here’s my story of how I found and embraced my crazy. In May 2017, I made a #careerswitch. I used to be a documentary producer/director for five years before accepting the fact that I was struggling.

I was admitted to the hospital in September 2016 after a prolonged bout of high fever, and it was then that I had the time and space to think about the why. Why was I falling sick ever so often? It then hit me, something so confronting: maybe I’m not cut out for this. It’s clear that I was really struggling, and falling ill quite regularly was my body’s way of telling me so.

For someone who’s only ever dreamt of being a journalist, I was living the dream! I was working with a company that took pride in its investigative work, I made films where I could lend my voice (my ultimate goal!) so… what went wrong? Why was I constantly feeling so low? I know I wasn’t hopeless at what I did… but if I’m being honest, it wasn’t second nature to me.

I always felt that I had to work extra hard to perform well. I’m also a perfectionist. It was a recipe for disaster, especially when it came to matters of wellness. For my own good, I knew I had to let go.

On the bright side, it was also through this process that I started recognising my unique strengths and purpose: what brings me more happiness, who am I meant to be? I acknowledged what my bottom line is and accepted that I didn’t have to be a journalist to lend my voice or make a difference. That was when I started working on letting my light shine, and one of the ways I did that was to start Crazycat so that more women can do so too.

You see, I believe that my crazy is using my voice to empower others to use theirs. So I’ve vowed to embrace that and apply it to all that I do. Crazycat has held a total of five events so far and I’m always so happy when our participants let us know that attending our events have given them some clarity to help overcome their struggles, or have helped build their confidence to start a business, or even to make new friends who have become their allies. Knowing that is the fuel that keeps my fire burning and my crazy alive.

Having said that though, I recognise that embracing your crazy is a process and so I thought I’d share some ways that could help ease it:

1. Self-reflect

   Just take five to ten minutes to journal or ask yourself some of the tough questions you always set aside. It took me being in the hospital that forced me to do this. Doing something rather simple is enough to bring you closer to embracing your crazy.

2. Challenge your self-doubt

   This is probably one of the hardest things to do if you’re struggling to manage that inner voice in your head that’s constantly telling you that you’re not good enough. You can start by saying words of affirmation out loud – “I can.” / “I will not compare myself to others.” / “I am more than enough.”
   Oh and remember to take a breather when it all gets a little too much!
   
   

3. Surround yourself with people who can lift you higher

   Be around those who can help you recognise your unique strengths and be your cheerleader on your journey towards accepting and embracing your crazy!
   
   —
   
   I think the first step towards embracing your crazy is to recognise that it is a process and it will take time, but also know that you’re not alone. As women, we are multi-faceted, we wear many different hats, and each time we go through a different phase in life (graduation, marriage, pregnancy, motherhood etc.) we re-discover ourselves. Yet we tend to amplify our weaknesses and discredit our strengths. Let’s not do that anymore. Let’s vow to ourselves today and all the days to come that we will be kinder to ourselves, accept our quirks and embrace them.