Crazycat Gets Cosy: Pregnancy Loss

2 MAY 2019

7-9 PM

JUSTCO MARINA SQUARE

words CHERYL GUZMAN-NG

Few months back, we had a Crazycat Gets Cosy session on pregnancy loss. We had some ladies join us for a very personal, emotionally vulnerable yet safe session.

Many shared their own journeys of pregnancy losses, how they cope, what they went through, and what their hopes are for the future. There are three points I would like to share with anyone out there who has gone through pregnancy loss…

1. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT

Many women blame themselves for a pregnancy loss because we carry our child in our womb, and that inevitably makes us heavily responsible for anything untoward that may happen.  As mothers or mothers-to-be, it would have never been our intention to harm our own child even though unfortunately bad things do happen to some of us.

But no matter what, please don’t blame yourself for it. It will be hard not to (I have been there) at the beginning as emotions overwhelm your perspective. But over time as you heal, you will gain clarity that it really isn’t your fault, and no one else should be blaming you either. 

2. TAKE YOUR TIME

Healing takes time. You will never move on and away from your loss, but you can and will learn to move forward with grief. The grief will always be there as you mourn the loss of your child. Time always heals and makes it less painful. However much time you need, take it. Don’t let someone else’s timeline dictate yours. No one should tell you when you should stop crying or when you can start laughing and being happy again. You might still cry one or two years later, and it’s okay. Or you might be laughing heartily at a joke the next day, it is also okay. Take your time. Allow your emotions to come, then let them go. No matter what, don’t stop living and loving. 

3. YOU ARE NOT ALONE

We are not unique. There are many women who have suffered pregnancy losses before. Some are more vocal about it, while some rather keep it quiet. Both are fine. It’s a personal choice. But take comfort in knowing that you will have the support from other women out there who might have gone through the same thing. Many of them continued living a fulfilling life while remembering their losses, and even continued to have (more) kids. So don’t lose hope. Reach out if you need someone to talk to. 

To all the women who joined me at our last CGC session, thank you so so much for sharing your stories with all of us. You have warmed my heart and comforted me too. I hope even if for that brief hour and a half, you could let your heart and guard down to just confront your losses. I applaud you and love you for sharing your stories.
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We’d like to take the opportunity to thank our kind partners that made this session possible - our venue partner JustCo and sponsor OzWorks Therapy.