Having met Lilian (aka Lil) a while ago, she had left such a lasting impression on me. Here’s why - she exuded confidence, self-assurance yet remained grounded all at the same time. I was thankful that I had this chance to find out more about her (and I have to include this, it was an eight-hour coffee date!) and all she had encapsulated from her life experiences. 

At (maybe) around the three-hour mark in the coffeehouse, I declared to her that she had truly lived a life - she hasn’t lived to be 100 years old and gained all the wisdom in the world - but as a woman who understood that there is no one-size-fits-all solution for living a full life. Therefore, her crazy makes sense doesn’t it. Scroll on to learn about a woman who was willing to be self-aware enough to see when she’s off track and had the courage to course correct again and again - Revathie Dhanabalan

MY STORY IS …

Born into an international family, my formative years were spent in Continental Europe, exposed to different cultures, customs, and languages. Then in 1992, my mom made a dramatic life change, and we moved to Flagstaff, a mountain town in Arizona. 

This state would be my home base for the next 20+ years. For twelve of those years, I was “stuck” in Tucson. It started out with going to university there, and somehow every time I made plans to move, another opportunity would pop up that was too good to turn down. In that time, I finished my first degree in writing/journalism, proceeded to manage multi-million dollar restaurants post-degree, ended up going back to school and getting a second diploma in chemistry, and wrapped up doing a two-year stint as a business writer at a local media agency. Despite all these accomplishments, I was watching my closest friends doing exciting things all around the world. True to the statement, comparing myself to them had robbed me of some of the joys of living in Tucson.

But it also ignited the passion to get out and be more. 

When I turned 30, I found myself falling back in love with dance music. (Side note, I grew up listening to loads of genres, and had flirted with techno in the 90s before becoming a hip hop and reggae head.) This shift in musical taste led me to go to a rave on NYE at Brixton Academy (Sasha’s Last Night on Earth for the house-heads out there!) The gig, along with the entire visit with my father who lives in London, helped me realise this was my next move.

A year later, with enough money to live for three to six months, I took the plunge and bought a one-way ticket to London. This decision confused so many friends; I had a great job, was dating a nice guy, and had an amazing dog (who would eventually move to London too!)

But I knew from self-inquiry and my constant wistfulness for something bigger, that this was right for me. 

Prepared for a long slog to find employment, my risk was rewarded as I got a job with a prestigious global advertising platform within three weeks of landing. My

life outside of work became entrenched with dance music, so much so that eventually I moved vocation to a more musically-oriented media company. 

In this new company, I got to travel and go to raves all over the world, and despite not being known for music, I quickly fell in love with Singapore’s scene on business trips. Every time I came to town, popping into Headquarters on Boat Quay was a must! That same wistfulness I got in Arizona would creep in on my trips here, so when I was offered to relocate, I jumped at the chance. 

Moving to Singapore, I fell deeper and deeper in the dance music rabbit hole:

• I attended the Electronic Music Conference (EMC) in Sydney my first year living in APAC, where I befriended the executive producer Jane Slingo, who is now a friend and mentor. Last year, I was invited to become part of the EMC advisory board among other industry leaders.

• Also in 2020, I was asked by Adam Mathews to curate a panel for WIRED in Malaysia which examined the intersection of creativity and mental burnout. Based on its success, I’ve been invited to curate mental health panels for future WIRED events.

• Most significantly, in the months leading up to my move here, I made friends with a DJ named Sivanesh Pillai, who would quickly become my partner/boyfriend after I arrived, getting me intimately involved (pun intended?) in the Singapore scene. At the end of 2019, together we launched Sivilian Affairs, an organisation to curate boutique events which focused on talents from minority groups. However, whilst planning our debut show Make Your Move for early spring, we all know what happened to live music with the arrival of the pandemic, and our plans were put on pause.

In 2021, I can feel my next phase of reinvention is imminent, likely taking me even deeper into the music industry. While I don’t know the particulars per se, the wistfulness has returned, and I’m paying attention to identifying who I will become next.

And that brings me back to my crazy, I will continuously self-reflect and reinvent for as long as I can.

photography Revathie Dhanabalan