A Letter To My Daughter
What I hope she’ll know as she becomes a woman one day.
words Sarah Bagharib
This Mother’s Day, I’m celebrating nearly two years of being a mama to the sweetest, funniest girl. Motherhood has been quite the rollercoaster ride full of many highs and sometimes what may feel like greater lows. It changes your life in ways you’ll never be fully prepared for but it’s also the greatest gift and light you never knew you needed. There are days when it can feel incredibly isolating but the fact is that I know I’m not alone.
Today I celebrate my journey as a mother with this letter to my daughter.
My dear Imaan,
How are you already turning two really soon? I’ve been watching your newborn videos, listening to those fresh piercing cries that used to drive me to tears and expand my heart all at once. I’ve been looking at pictures of your tinier hands and feet that you have since learned to use to not just feed yourself or walk, but also draw, colour, paint and dance! These days you prefer wandering and exploring on your own and refuse to hold hands as we walk. You also already know how to string sentences to ask for what you want or sing your favourite tunes; but… didn’t your body just leave mine not too long ago? Wasn’t I just holding you in my arms when you flashed your first smile?
I remember seeing your face for the first time and knew then that we’d name you ‘Imaan’; it means ‘faith’ in Arabic. Our story began with that and more – I had faith that I’d see a positive sign on a test kit one day after plenty of disappointing negatives, and I did. I had faith that despite the long hours (41 to be exact!) of pain, everything would be okay once they’d placed you on my chest, and it was. There you were, with your eyes wide open, eager to see the world.
It sure feels like time is my biggest enemy these days – I’m struggling to balance a full-time job and a side business while also being a wife, daughter, friend, and mum. I know that I won’t ever find the right balance but I’m finding a rhythm I can move to. But the thing is, as long as time is ticking, you’ll just keep growing and sometimes I wish time would stand still so you can always be my little girl.
But that’s clearly not possible and before I know it, you’d be a phenomenal young woman. My sweet girl, the world can be rough and one day you may start questioning your place in it; how and where do you fit in? Why are some people so mean? Why did he break your heart?
Mummy’s here now to tell you a few things:
You are worthy and you will always be more than enough.
This is the most important reminder. Don’t let anyone doubt you or make you feel any less. When you recognise your worth, you’re also stepping into the power you innately have. When you know your worth, you’re believing in yourself wholeheartedly. I’m here to tell you that I’ll always be your biggest cheerleader and I vow to always remind you that there is no dream too big or small. I vow to empower you to chase yours when the time comes. I also vow to always remind you to love yourself first and trust your worth.
Hold on to things that make your heart dance.
Today, this looks like running around with your cousins, playing hide-and-seek, colouring with crayons and breaking into numerous songs. I’m so excited to know what this would look like for you in the years to come and I hope you’ll hold on to these things that make your heart dance. These are the things that will keep you going. These are the things that will make you jump out of bed in the mornings. These are the things that will help you make sense of the world, of your world.
What’s meant for you will find its way eventually.
There may come a time when you may feel inadequate. If this happens, go back to the reminder that you will always be more than enough – but these feelings are natural, especially when you come across stories or social media posts (I wonder how it would have evolved by the time you’re a woman?!) highlighting the success of others.
Lean into abundance and gratitude. Be happy for your friends who are doing really well and be inspired by their growth and success. Then focus on your unique strengths and channel them in all that you do. Do not compare your timeline with someone else’s. You also never know what they’re truly going through and if they may be silently struggling. Always remember that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help or a listening ear.
If you’ll turn out anything like me, you’d want to always feel like you need to have it all together. But the truth is my love, you don’t! When it gets overwhelming, seek help; there is absolutely no shame in that and it isn’t a sign of weakness. I hope you know that I’ll always be the place you can come to feel safe and uplifted.
You are not for everyone and that is completely okay.
This is something that took me a while to appreciate and embrace and I wish I’d known this earlier! So I’m here sharing this with you now; you are one of a kind. There will only be one you and that is your power. You may lose some friends along the way for embracing this or have your heart broken, but baby girl, that is okay! It’s all part of the process and your journey, and you will continue to shine as long as you stay true to yourself.
If you read this someday Imaan, I want you to know that all I’m doing and building today is so that you can be a bold and brave woman tomorrow. A bold and brave woman who is constantly inspired and supported by a community of other empowered women who are on their own unique journeys; they’ll make you feel less alone on yours.
You are my reason.
Thank you for teaching me the importance of self-reflection so I can be better for you. Thank you for teaching me about the strength I never knew I had and giving me a whole new meaning to patience and love. Thank you for showing me how much my heart can expand and continues to do so. I wouldn’t know what it means to be a mother without you so thank you so, so much for giving me the most privileged and precious gift: being your mum.
It’s been the biggest honour and joy and I love you more than you’ll ever know.
Love, Mummy
Sarah is wearing sustainable pieces from Esse and Imaan is wearing pieces from their ‘for Pēpi’ range. Esse is ethically-made and their garments are produced under safe, fair, legal and humane working conditions. It’s also a brand that puts people at the centre of what they do and believe in ensuring that everyone whom they touch should feel accepted, respected and represented.
Shop at Esse and use the code ‘CRAZYCAT10’ upon checkout for 10% off all their designs.
photography Monica Lie & Esse