What Self-Love Could Actually Mean
Self-love is not always about long baths and buying yourself gifts.
words Zahwah Bagharib
In recent years, every February, there will be a sudden influx of #selflove and #loveyourself posts all over social media because we’ve come to learn (or at least acknowledge) the fact that Valentine’s Day is and should not only be about being in love with a special someone. Not everyone celebrates Valentine’s Day, but the internet has taken this grand opportunity to hijack a supposedly romantic holiday to increase awareness of self-love -- and I am absolutely here for it.
My perception of what self-love actually entails has changed over the years. When I was a child, self-love probably meant crying non-stop until I got what I wanted. As a teenager, maybe it meant going on a shopping spree. And now, as a young adult, when I think about loving myself, I think about forgiveness, compassion and acceptance (deep I know, but hear me out).
There was a point in time where I was taught that self-love was all about material things -- buying yourself gifts, wearing nice clothes or even having the latest gadgets. But as I got older (and life got me a bit wiser), I realised that self-love isn’t about all the fancy things or making yourself look good. It’s about being your own best friend.
Forgiveness
When you love someone, you’d probably forgive them for their mistakes. The funny thing is, we tend to forgive others more than we forgive ourselves. On some days we carry the biggest burdens on our shoulders, only because we’ve yet to forgive ourselves for the things we did in the past. Forgiving yourself may be a very difficult thing to do - but it is a very important step. One way to forgive yourself is to acknowledge what has happened, and believe that things will get better.
Compassion
Self-love could also mean being kind and gentle with yourself - that’s where compassion comes in. Being kind to yourself on good days is really easy, everyone knows that. But the challenge comes when you’re having a really bad day and you’re trying so hard to keep it together. At that very moment, self-love is taking a step back and reminding yourself that things are going to be okay.
Acceptance
I’ve heard that self-acceptance can be a lifelong journey. To love yourself is to accept yourself for who you are - you are not perfect, you will make mistakes, you will make wrong decisions, and the list goes on. But you know what? It’s okay. With every mistake comes reflection and growth, which will eventually lead us to become the person we are meant to be.
So to you who is reading this - I hope you’ll be your own best friend. On your toughest days, self-love could mean taking a deep breath, switching off your phone or having a long, ugly cry. I hope you’ll be there for yourself and be kind, gentle and compassionate to the person that you are.