MEET PAMELA LEE
ON OVERCOMING HER NAYSAYERS AND FINDING HER OWN PATH
“My crazy is constantly being hungry to improve and pressing on, no matter the circumstances.”
I met Pamela at my previous place of employment. She was one of the best colleagues that I’ve ever had during my digital marketing stint. You know one of those rare few you meet that balances you out in every perspective including work. During our short year working together, I came to realise something truly special about her. It was her resounding ability to bounce back (no matter how long) from a tough situation and carry on (no matter how painful). Throughout our friendship, I had one gnawing question all these years, how did she figure out how to do that?
And it took this interview and an impromptu date at a playground to realise that she does not have it all figured out. Instead, she had developed this nifty ability to distinguish what she did not what from a particular situation, inching her closer to finding out what she wants. As you read through her story, you will see a pattern emerge, one that shows that you don’t need to know what you want but simply sort out what you don’t like to move forward. She showed me that weeding out what you want, is a lifelong pursuit. — Revathie Dhanabalan
MY STORY IS …
"If only..." is a phrase that I have focused on throughout all my experiences particularly in my career as a digital marketer. There are a lot of variables involved in this line of work - variables that you can’t control. "If only..." became my constant reminder that change is inevitable and everything happens for a reason. There are times when we are not able to choose our circumstances but we do have the power to decide how we want to react.
Getting to this point of understanding took me years, and multiple painful lessons from career choices to heartbreak in my personal life to understand that the way you react to a situation may not only affect you but the people around you. Along the way, I've learned that we can't win every battle but we can choose wisely. Every action has a consequence.
How it may positively or negatively affect your life, only time will tell. There was never a single event that led to this point but a collective experience. I had realised that I knew what I did not want in my life/career/relationships but I am still on the path to figuring what I do want in life.
I had grown up with people expecting the worst from me and at my lowest point telling me that I am a failure in all aspects of life. I do admit, there were times that their comments did get the better of me but rather than allow myself to wallow in despair or self-pity for a prolonged period, I feel that it is important to shift the paradigm to motivation.
To push myself not to give up and to prove that "hey! I can do it!" When a person provides me an irrational reason or excuse as to why I cannot complete a task, that in turn motivates me to be more resilient and adapt to the situation. To prove to myself that I can do it, even when it wasn't expected of me. And that became my story.
My story started when I decided to pursue that constant need to improve when I was in my early 20s and that in turn drove me to be a better person than I was yesterday. When we put together all our perceived notions coupled with all our life experiences, good or bad, these become the lessons in our lives. We should learn to apply it, it becomes another form of self-discovery. I don’t have a defining moment that led to a significant effect on my life’s trajectory as compared to all these other amazing Crazycats on this platform.
But I chose to take every big and small moments experienced as my pivotal point.
Of course, there were circumstances where I failed and quite terribly if I may add, but it was alright because it is better to have tried than not at all. Through the ups and downs, these experiences will go on to shape my life. The journey is as important as the end goal. So, instead of reiterating an experience of mine, I thought I would share some of the choices I have made in my life, in my story:
To allow our past actions to shape us as a person.
To learn and reflect on past experiences to make us a better version of ourselves.
To move forward with no regrets. As long as you do your best and know your worth, that's all that matters.
We can't please everyone, so do your best to live life with minimal regrets cause everything happens for a reason. Enjoy the process though it may be difficult and embrace your flaws. Every day will be a journey of self-discovery, a learning process to be better no matter how it may feel now.
Adversity will only make you stronger from the inside and out.
photography Revathie Dhanabalan