Crazycat Gets Real

What’s kindness got to do with it?

On World Mental Health Day, we launched #CrazycatGetsReal where everyday women stepped out of their comfort zones to share what truly goes on in their lives behind their seemingly perfect #grams. We reached out to some crazycats to shed light on social media and mental health. We soon realised that small acts of kindness can have enormous power over mental health - it is one of the most beautiful human qualities. People who witness or benefit from someone’s kindness and compassion are also more likely to be kind themselves.

As these real stories and women have shown, practising acts of self-kindness (unconsciously at times) does have its own set of positive attributes. If you haven’t seen our series on Instagram, take a gander at the posts again below. Learn about these wonderful women and their experiences.

Airin Lee

photography and words by @imairinn

Many have known me as a makeup artist on social media; of course, with what we put on the grams, everything seems perfectly positive and great. In fact, life has been really superb for me but I have my fair share of struggles. Social media is a source of work, I put up my works and my day-to-day projects and tag like-minded people on it in hopes that they too can get exposed to new clients along the way.

So it's seemingly positive energy through and through; that kind of rubbed the fact that I'm okay , but the truth is, I do suffer from panic attacks and anxiety from time to time through the years of hustling. Some days even after posting or fulfilling certain deadlines of posts online, I actually experienced various attacks when I'm driving, alone or most of the time in the toilet. It was hard at first to experience each episode of it, I got hospitalised and it's hard to explain to many why I am sick with gastric, heart palpitations and shortness of breath. I definitely disappointed certain clients along the way because of my attacks and I couldn't speak about it because I was worried about the stigma.

But with each episode, I decided that it's time to face the problem and find the solution, I learned that more and more people are dealing with the same symptoms as me without knowing that it is actually a panic attack, with that drive, I was motivated to learn techniques and seeing therapist to get me through my days.

Mental health isn't a personal weakness, sometimes it's the snowballing effect of stress or always tipping our toes on a fight or flight situation, deadlines to meet or even certain past traumas that triggered it. So, it's okay to go through a season whereby it's tougher or foreign than before because life is like hiking a mountain, there's hurdles to overcome and lessons we can learn from the mountains. The next time you witness someone going through an attack, don't step away, come forward and tell them they will be okay, human kindness and warmth will show that you care for them and you will be a pair of listening ears. Recovery for anxiety and panic attacks is possible, I have overcome various episodes and I take every opportunity to educate people and share my personal story and struggles with mental health conditions. Kindness is magic.

Sabrina Marican

photography and words by @sabrinamarican

It is true, what you see on the gram, is not always 100% real. Sometimes sadness/ anxiety/ worries get the best of me. When I post something, questions such as ‘Will people hate how I look?’ or ‘Do I look okay? Did I edit it too much?’ will pop in my head. This drives me nuts sometimes. But I know, only I can control and change how I feel. I control what goes on in my head. During the circuit breaker, I went through one of the most challenging periods of my life but I’m very grateful for how I got through it with the best people, with my loved ones. Faith kept it all together. Love makes it better and lastly, only I can change how I think, act and behave.

I think people do not realise how difficult it is to create content and all the hard work that actually goes into it! It might not seem like hard work to some people but this work matters to me and for my fellow content creators who do this for a living. The lighting, the makeup, the product (how do we showcase the products for our brand partners?) The whole process from start to finish can be really stressful and builds a lot of pressure for us sometimes; what if we don’t meet expectations? This is our job after all. Trying to meet and live up to high expectations can really take a toll on my mental health.

But I’m so thankful that I am able to cope, recover from difficult times and regain focus! I do take a bit of time off here and there to disconnect and just get away from social media and spend time with my loved ones. I think it’s really important and have been very consistent with this.

Amber Chan

photography and words by @amberlica

These grids usually tell very carefully edited stories.

In my case, most of the photos you see on my feed - and I am sure I’m not the only one who does this - is tweaked, edited and chosen from a bunch of similar photos that did not make the Instagram cut.

Today I’m here to share with you a snippet of one of my most hellish nights this year, when I failed to build a cake with the vision I had in mind. I scraped buttercream off this cake multiple times, slamming the freezer door and cursing at the palette knife. This cake had to go out for delivery the next day and I was beyond dejected and desperate for luck.

I delivered the cake in the end, looking very different from what I had earlier envisioned. While it was still well received, I was not satisfied and lamented on its ‘failure’ for weeks later.

The undertone of disappointment is but a ripple in a sea of negativity. These tiny thoughts and feelings form more ripples, cause splashes of doubt and waves of turmoil that all eventually crash down in a personal demonised tsunami of your own mind.

There is always stigma associated with poor mental health. So people keep quiet. Then society now says ‘be yourself!’, and so you go ahead and be yourself. Society then says ‘be yourself but positive vibes only’.

Sometimes I feel like saying a big F You to these positive vibes. We all know social media is a gleaming ever changing new filter to real life. So I say let’s embrace all these feelings, bad and good and let’s all eat cake, perfect or not, and let’s forgive each other for being human. We are after all... all the same creatures.

Nazriah Low

photography and words by @zanyknip

Trigger Warning: Pregnancy and Infant Loss

October is also pregnancy & infant loss awareness month.

I’ve lost two babies, and I’m very blessed to have two living ones with me. But I’m tired, I really am. I’m tired of smiling when deep inside, I’m dying. I’m tired of trying to be strong on the outside when I’m actually so weak on the inside. I’m tired of telling my kids that everything is going to be okay, when it’s not.

I’m tired.

I’m tired of crying for my lost babies. I’m tired of missing them. I’m tired of wondering why I couldn’t have them alive.

People say, “Oh, you already have two beautiful kids.”

Yes, I do. But have YOU lost a baby? No. Have YOU carried a baby in your womb and had to give birth to her while she eternally slept? No.

Do you know how it feels? To carry this pain every day and wonder why?

I do. I carry it every single day of my life.

I’m tired.

I’m genuinely happy for those who are expecting or had their babies. I really am, and I share their sliver of joy when the news comes. It’s so wonderful to welcome a new addition who is already so loved. I hope my kids know how loved they are. They have a huge family who loves them.

People say, “Stop mellowing in your sadness.” I just look away.

People say “But you’re so fortunate.” Yes I am, and my kids are so lucky. But all they’ve asked for is a little sibling, and I couldn’t give them that.

A part of me will never be the same. That part of me is gone forever as I lost two little souls. That loss cannot be measured.

So please, everyone is fighting their own battle. They don’t have to show it physically, but they are fighting. People are battling trauma, cancer, hardships…

So just be kind.