Dear Me, It's Going To Be Okay

It will be more than okay, things will turn out amazing.

words Zahwah Bagharib

We’ve all had those days when nothing was going as planned, or we just couldn’t seem to get anything right. Those days aren’t foreign to me, and I’m sure most of you have had your own share of them as well.

When things aren’t going right, that’s when we need to be kindest to ourselves.

For me, it’s a lot easier to be kind to others. It’s the same with buying people presents -- I would very much rather spend my money on others than buy myself a new pair of shoes (cause they aren’t broken yet!). So when it comes to being kind to myself, it isn’t something that comes naturally to me, especially when I am my biggest critic.

I think I’ve only started to prioritise being kind to myself this year. 2020, a year for everything, right?

When I think about being kind to myself, I think about the voice in my head saying “it’s going to be okay”. There are many days when I wished I could hear someone tell me that everything is going to be alright. Little did I realise that that person should actually be me.

When days are rough and nights are long, here are some things you can do to be a little kinder to yourself:

1. Take a deep breath

Pause for a moment and breathe deep. You can calm yourself down with something comforting like tea (for me it’s chocolate). You can also use this time to sort out your emotions and to acknowledge them (honestly, sometimes this could also mean crying it out).

2. Tell yourself that it’s going to be okay

Here’s where you need to try your best to be your own cheerleader. Sometimes, all it takes is just for your inner voice to be a little more supportive.

3. Remind yourself that you are only human

It’s okay to mess up, it’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s definitely okay to not have things figured out. Your feelings are valid, and these moments do not define your worth.

4. Try again (only if you want to)

Okay, things didn’t go right the first (or second, or third…) time round. That’s okay. We can try again. But if you can’t or don’t want to, that’s alright too.

5. Celebrate your wins

No matter how big or small, whether it’s surviving the day or finishing a crazy task - treat yourself because you deserve it.

What I’ve learnt from being kinder to myself is that I’m starting to like the person in my head. She’s a lot more gentle, a lot more compassionate and a lot less negative. She cheers me on, she tells me it’s okay if I need to take a break, and she says yes to cake after a long day. I hope she stays for a long time.